Some days are just easier...

I've been contemplating for the past few hours whether or not to post something tonight, but I decided it would be a great way to flush my system.

I get the "how you do it" question a lot. Some days its easy for me to answer...I just do, I love my son, I see the blessings these challenges have brought, it could be so much more difficult...different days call for different answers.

If I'm being honest though...today was just "one of those days." I know we all have them, mom of a special needs child...any mom at all.

Mostly it was just one of those days because, in perfect 3-year-old fashion, Gianna was exerting her "first-born female" independence. Try as I may, nothing I tried made a bit of difference...her listening ears were left on her pillow when she got out of bed this morning.

So needless to say I wasn't in the best mood by late this afternoon. I had taken Gianna to dance class and Anthony came along as he always does. After class she had to use to bathroom and that's when it hit me. It's happened before but today it had more of a lasting impact than usual.

Since Gianna was wearing her leotard and tights, I had to go into the bathroom to help her. Her classmates and their moms had already left. I can't bring Anthony's chair to the studio because its down a big flight of stairs. Anthony can't sit up...

I had to ask a mom, who I don't know, to hold Anthony while I took Gianna to the bathroom. She was happy to do it, and really it was no big deal...but I haven't been able to shake the rush of thoughts that have consumed me all evening. He's 16 months old....long since grown out of his carrier...can't sit up, stand, walk...I NEEDED HELP...

I can totally see the silver lining here...being able to ask for help is a great thing...I'm sure I made that woman's day that she could make a difference (however small) in someone's day...Anthony was happy (as usual) and was smiling all the while...these are the thoughts I repeat to myself when I feel trapped in what my friend refered to as the "jail of negativity"...


You ask me how I do it...some days are just easier than others...

A beautiful piece I read on another blog...

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